"A Very Present Help in Trouble,"

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change.” Psalm 46:1-2

“Psalm 46 extols the adequacy of God in facing threats from nature and the nations. God indeed protects His people upon the earth. The major burden of Ps 46 is that God provides stability for His people who live in two exceedingly unstable environments.”

View of the city from my apartment bedroom window, 10th floor.

Every morning while in East Asia, we went to our team leader's room to have a morning devotional before we went out to roam the city we were sent to, with over 8 million people who didn't know who Jesus truly is. We made our separate ways to the 21st floor of our apartment each morning, with tired eyes and often tired hearts, yet we left encouraged and empowered by God's Word. Matt, our team leader, would read Psalm 46 to us every morning, and encouraged us that Our God is a very present help in trouble. We were enlightened by that as we rose each morning that God was present with us, and that His love had no limits on the map, but that instead it reached as far as the East is from the West. He was present with us, and His presence is where we found our peace and comfort before going out into the world. The God of The Bible is the same God who was with us and who would lead us. Along with God's word, we prayed. We prayed harder than we’d ever prayed before. We knew that it would only be God who would get us through our 15-hour days and who would strengthen us to walk about 14+ miles each day. Most importantly, we knew that it would be God alone who could change and awaken the hearts of the people of East Asia. It was mornings of humility, which would linger throughout the rest of our days as we were sent out. We saw the Father's power as we came together as one body, and prayed for each other and for the people we would be reaching out to. There was one morning when we discovered that a handful of us were all having nightmares (including myself,) while others were feeling sick - yet through the Grace and power of God, we saw Him cover us against Satan's attacks. The power of prayer was vital, and showed us daily that it wasn't us who worked, but God.

“As far as the East is from the West, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

I, a team of 9 other college students from the Texas area, and one adult coordinator went to go serve overseas in East Asia during our Christmas break. We worked with a local missionary family who have lived in East Asia for 6 years, and they connected us to local foreign teachers (who were all believers) in the city who taught at the universities we were going to visit. The teachers held Christmas parties for their students, which was a fun and quick way for us to break the ice with the students. Most importantly, the main purpose for these parties was to have a safe space where we could meet the students and get their contact information to meet with them while we were in their city. We were intentional with them, and made appointments during the week to spend time with them and build relationships with them. This ranged from shopping with them, going out to restaurants, museums, and parks, to meeting up for coffee, playing basketball, or even spending time teaching each other our different languages and cultures (one of my favorite memories with them). The students were extremely eager to spend time with us-- they showered with compliments that we didn't necessarily deserve and it showed how much they valued us being kind and wanting to spend time with them. Another way we were able to make appointments with them was by going to their classrooms when they had foreigners as their teachers. During our presentations we were able to introduce ourselves to the classes and show what life is like in America, and then play English games and talk with them. A big thing we also got to do while at the different campuses and parties was to share the hope of Jesus and the real reason why and how we celebrate Christmas as Christians. We did have some restrictions, of course, so most of the time we started off by telling them the Americanized version of Christmas with Santa Claus and presents. But then if we were able, we would lead into what the true gift was this Christmas: Jesus coming down and being born, offering us the free gift of salvation. 

At the Christmas parties at the teachers’ homes, we were able to share with them even more since it was off-campus and we were hardly limited. However, we also got to share the gospel with students who we met up with intentionally by appointment later in the week. Sharing the gospel with them was a bit tricky since we couldn't share in public places or with a lot of their friends around them. Most of the time, after getting to spend time with them multiple times and then with them feeling comfortable around us - we would invite them back to our apartments (which meant a lot to them to be invited into our homes) and share with them there since it was safe to. Meeting these students, serving them, loving them by showing Christ’s love, and making the effort to meet with them and tell them the gospel was our ministry and all that we could physically do: The Lord did the rest. He opened so many doors for us to share, broke language barriers, and He protected us as we served. He was present, and He is the one who saves lives - we were merely there to be used by Him and to declare His glory among those who may have never heard the name Jesus before.

“and He made from one man every nation and mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.”

Acts 17:26-27

 

To see God move in a place where He wasn't wanted, and to see Him come through the darkness of East Asia.... it encouraged me that our God is greater than any law, any persecution, and any earthly limits. That Jesus is a name above all names, and a name that changes lives. We went to churches in which we had to look down while entering and stay silent, and also to a house church where the door was soundproof, yet had a cross hanging on the door inside. This taught me that the believers of East Asia were holding onto JESUS, onto Yahweh. They were faced with trials and consequences because of their faith, yet seeing them worship and cling to God was incredibly inspiring. For them to love and choose God, even if it meant being seen as lowly and possibly being shut out of their families and schools (which often happened,) they still believe that Jesus is better. It’s their faith that is encouraging, and made me see how my life back in America, although blessed, was taken for granted. I don't have to fight for my faith, nor do I have to worry about being caught telling someone about it. Being in this country taught me humility and compassion. It taught me how to love people. Most of these students only had school on their minds so they could get a good, stable job to support their family. There is no other thought, and no thought on God especially. Yet, to get to know the students in an intimate way, and let them know that they were loved - that is where I learned how to love people and see them as Jesus sees them. To serve even when it's the hardest thing to do when you're dead tired, to have a love indescribable for the lost. It was all God who got us through it, and all the praise and honor goes to Him.

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"They who had no news of Him shall see, and they who have not heard, shall understand.” Romans 15:21

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The greatest thing I saw God do was transform hearts of those who did not know Him before. Even before we got to East Asia, we already knew of the drastic work God had been doing there and how the body was growing rapidly. So seeing 20 people come to Christ after a presentation of the gospel on the very first day we were there gave me a whole new level of humility. Humility in seeing that we were merely a small part of His work there, and that we weren't there to do all the work for Him, but that He was enough. He was present there, and to see His mighty works being done through us was humbling and increased my faith more than I ever thought it would. That even if it was a dark place, full of high abortion rates (with abortion clinics advertised regularly in girl's restrooms), unstable orphanages, idolatry, prostitution, red-light districts every few streets and, overall, where there was no desire of a higher purpose or God - His goodness shone through and continued to provide more ways for us to share and be the light in the dark. Through going to East Asia, and being forced out of my comfort zone more than ever before, I was shown that He was right there with me through it all. Through the struggles and discomforts, I learned to depend on Him more than I've ever had to, and my relationship with God grew. It was just Him and me there, and to see how present He was made all my doubts disappear. Even though I may have felt small, discouraged and forgotten - He was constantly showing us His grace, mercy and steadfast love through it all.

"I'm lying down my life, I'm giving up control, never looking back – I surrender all. I'm living for your glory, on the earth. This passion in my heart, this storing in my soul – to see the nations bow for all the world to know.” Bethel Music, For the Sake of the World.

God has taught me that He is in complete control over everything. That may sound simple and elementary, but through this trip I was in constant awe of how much He was in control, and how regardless of us constantly being thrown obstacles, He was still sovereign. When we felt like we weren't being used or making an impact on the students we were meeting, God would show us that we were -- by Him and through Him only. When we felt discouraged and alone, God showed us the exact opposite. A prime example of this was when I got to share the gospel with a student, and as I shared with her I realized that she was hearing all of this for the very first time. I’d spent time with her during the week and we had a solid and steadily growing friendship, so I knew she had different
religious beliefs (Buddhist). However, as I shared with her, I did so differently than I did in America, because I knew she had a different starting point. After a call to response after sharing, she didn't accept and I felt discouraged immediately, since I was used to people back home accepting right away most of the time. Then God worked in my heart more than He has, and I learned a very hard and convicting lesson of humility: that it wasn't my words that were speaking to her, but The Lord's. Humility, in questioning my heart in this sense: did I want her to accept for my own glory, or for God's glory? The hard questions that we keep hidden in the back of our hearts while on the field were then exposed to me by God, and it forced me to learn that He was in control - not me. I continued to love on this girl, and through that she opened up to me more and showed more love back to me than she had before I shared. After seeing that The Lord was sovereign over everything, even thousands of miles away from home, I saw just how much bigger He was. Coming home, I received a message from this girl asking me where she could read the Bible. Through this, I knew that God was showing me that even if I may have felt like she was completely closed off while I was sharing with her, He instead planted a seed in her heart through me. God did the work and the sowing, and I was merely a vessel to be obedient and tell her who He was. I am praising God for His work in her, and also His work in myself through this particular experience in learning how to let go of the desire to be in control, and letting Him be in control.

It's been almost two months since I've been back home, and God is still at work in my heart and the hearts of the people of East Asia. The friends I've made there are friends who I still talk to regularly, thanks to the internet. The ones who became believers while we were there consistently send me questions and want to seek more of God who He is. All I can do is praise God with every breath and every song. He is good, and He is alive. The seeds were planted and, above all, God is still at work even if I'm miles away. His power has no limits or restrictions! Since coming back home, I cannot shake East Asia off my mind and my heart. I don't know when, but I do know that God is telling me that He wants me back there. My desire for East Asia keeps growing as I dig into the language, culture, and people more and more. By the grace of God, I have met new friends here at my school who once lived in the same city I went to, and I cannot help but praise God that He keeps providing more opportunities. I cannot wait to see where God takes me, but through this experience I know I can trust in Him and see that He is better than any comfort.

"All the earth will shout 

Your praise,

Our hearts will cry,

These bones will sing,

Great are You, Lord!"

- Sam Jimenez

Previous blogs:

How I came to know Christ - Testimony 

How my mom came to know Christ afterwards

"On the day I called, You answered me;"

What I'm about to write is a bit difficult for me, but I know that it needs to be shared in hopes to bring glory to God. Before I knew who Christ was, I was battling with depression, panic disorder, and self harm. I had to see multiple counselors as early as elementary school, which then eventually led up to high school. It got to the point where I had to take numerous proscribed medications to help me try to be normal and not mentally-ill. The pills were there to help me sleep, to help with my anxiety, and to help ease my depression that was clinical. Panic attacks were something that I was forced to become familiar with, and I quickly had to master how to deal with them as they came abruptly. There were multiple times where I would have a panic attack even if I was just sitting in a classroom, but thankfully all my teachers were extremely understanding and allowed me to leave the classroom to go calm down in the hallway alone. Having these episodes made me feel stuck in a loop hole of never ending trauma that didn't just affect me physically, but also emotionally. Worst off, I had the feeling that I would never get "fixed." It genuinely made me feel out of control of my own body and mind, and the disease stole all the life and energy I had within me. I was under the impression that I was battling with myself and that this was all my own fault. This led to me only seeing one option left - self harm. I would cut myself on my arms and wrists from 5th grade up until the end of high school. It wasn't until a few years in where my mom found out, and I can still remember her bangs on the bathroom door telling me to put the knife down because she just knew I was about to do it.  This was the day where she made me talk to a therapist, and the day where she would call my dad for a family meeting. Yet, through all the family meetings, trips to the doctors for medication, and visits to therapists... I still felt unsatisfied and was still searching for the one true thing that would save me. The one true thing that would heal me.  At the time, I didn't know it would be Jesus who would save and heal me from something much bigger than my current circumstance and scars. Now I know that even through the darkness that I was in -- He was still pursuing after me with His love and grace that would transform me.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."(John 1:1-5 ESV)

During high school, my heart was harden towards God and I just didn't care about the idea of Him or heaven. My freshman year of HS I had found "the theatre", and this would be my main source of an outlet that would drastically help me with my depression and anxiety. Yet, it wasn't until my senior year of high school where I would became good friends with a few Christians in theatre. I immediately knew that there was something different about them. Yet, besides being attractive to them, I also felt envious of them because I knew all of them had grown up in church and resembled the "perfect" image of a family I've so longed for. I believed that because I didn't grow up in church like them and came from a broken home instead, that it was "too late" for me to get to know who God was. That I was too far deep into the pit of my despair and sin. I had no hope for myself and believed that the whole "God thing," was not for me.  

However, the summer before my freshman year of college I became curious to figure out the truth on who God really was and to see if He really was real. It wasn't until then, that I could feel my heart changing towards God. It was softening, and I was seeking after truth. I was suppose to go to a different college (my dream school), but at the last minute it did not work out financially. After that, I felt stuck and just lost on where I was suppose to be or go. So, after sobbing in my bedroom alone one night: I prayed for the first time. It was awkward, and strange but I cried my heart out and just asked for Him to lead me. A couple of days later, I got a letter in the mail from a different college that I had been thinking about in the back of my mind, and the letter was basically saying how it "wasn't too late" to sign up and that "this could be your new home." Something was telling me that I needed to go to this school instead, and I'm glad I listened to that voice because this would be where I would find Christ.

My first worship and bible study - "WideAwake" with the BSM at UTA. You can see me in the light blue at the back row.

 I followed what I felt was calling me to go to UTA, and once I was settled at my dorm finally (which Lord willing I received the last available dorm, allowing me to attend UTA) - I heard a knock at the door. Unfortunately I was too late to answer, but the person who knocked slipped a flyer under my door to me. I remember reading the flyer and first seeing, "Bible study" on it and immediately felt like this was out of my element and comfort zone. I didn't know anything about the Bible, but something was telling me to just go. So, I forced myself to put on a dress (I assumed I had to look "nice" for this, like church.) and I went to Wide Awake by myself, which seemed really scary to me and I knew I would had to deal with my anxiety. Once I arrived at Wide Awake, I put on a name tag but was too anxious to be around the large groups of people that were outside the theatre where it was held. So naturally I went straight to my seat without talking to anyone or meeting anyone yet, and sat next to people I didn't know who had already been sitting down. Everything about that night was different - I had never been to a worship service before nor had been to a small group to read the Bible. However, when worship was going on, I saw how much everyone loved their God. And even if I didn't know God at the time, I knew that He was loved and praised by them. It was during worship where I felt a sense of peace for the first time, and I started to cry because I felt overwhelmed (a good sense of overwhelmed.) I felt something telling me that this is why I was meant to be here, at this moment. When the director of the BSM (Gary) announced we were going to read the Bible in small groups, my first immediate thought was I was going to be the only person who didn't have a Bible. Once we got into small groups, I met all the leaders who were friendly, loving, and extremely welcoming, so I felt comfortable around them. I didn't know how to read the Bible - literally, so when it came my turn to read a verse, I didn't even know what a verse was. Although, I remember saying that night (as we went around the group talking about where we are with God) that "I didn't know who God was, but one day I'd like to find out."
 

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:13)

Myself and Putti! Right after I prayed to receive Christ.

On September 5th of 2013, I was told the gospel for the very first time and accepted Christ that day. It wasn't an act of impulse, but it was something that I knew was the right time for me to do it - I was ready. Not because I had "cleaned myself up," but I was ready to completely and totally surrender my life to Christ, not by anything I've done but because of what He has already done. An intern at the BSM named Putti, whom I had met a few weeks earlier in my small group at Wide Awake, had wanted to meet up with me for lunch. So on this Thursday afternoon we met, and I assumed it would of just been a "Get to know you" type lunch and that was it. However, she begin to ask me a lot of spiritual questions after asking me a lot of basic questions about high school and my family. Putti then asked me if I heard the gospel before, and my immediate reaction was that I wasn't sure what that even meant, because all I knew about the word gospel was from the regular "gospel" music. I felt silly, but I told her I've never heard the gospel before. She then spent about the next hour or so explaining to me the gospel of Jesus Christ, and afterwards she called a response from me. At first, I told her no - I didn't want to accept. I didn't want to accept Christ because I still felt like I wasn't clean enough, and that I didn't know everything about God yet and that I didn't feel ready because I've never read the Bible yet. She then told me the gospel over and over again in different forms, and all of a sudden it just finally started working in my heart. God started working in my heart. All my doubts and insecurities diminished, and all I heard instead was God speaking to me that I was ready. He was knocking, and it was my time to open and receive. I then prayed to received Christ, and it was all by the Grace of God.

"On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. All the kings of the earth will give thanks to You, O LORD, When they have heard the words of Your mouth. And they will sing of the ways of the LORD, For great is the glory of the LORD." (Psalms 138:3-5)

 

Since then, God has been changing me and molding me more and more into Him. I've had many struggles as a new believer, and had moments of doubt, confusion and insecurities- yet He was there with me through it all. I'm not going to lie and pretend that I'm now suddenly perfect - there have been temptations of past struggles and sin, and even giving into those temptations. Yet, He has wrapped me with His everlasting love, and has given me new Godly desires instead of my old fleshly desires. He has replaced my heart of stone and has given me a heart of flesh. He has placed on my heart love for others and to be kind and serve them - something that I would of never had wanted to do on my own, but only through the power of Christ. For "His loving kindness is everlasting." A love that runs deeper than any sin within me - past, present or future.

God had shown me Grace, I want to show people grace. 

God had shown me His love, I wan to show people His love. 

God had told me to GO out onto the nations, I am willing to go. 

Last September of 2014, I felt God calling me in particular to go to East Asia to tell people who He is, and I'm glad I listened because I did end up being able to go, and it was there in East Asia where I found new realizations on who God is while I was telling others. It was there in East Asia where I found where I want to continue serving for years to come- if He wills. (Next blogpost will be about my experiences in East Asia!)

Your Friend,

Sam