For Such A Time As This... (5 weeks in East Asia.)

This was my second time going to the same city in East Asia, and honestly a part of me thought it wouldn't be that bad. I knew I had some understanding of the people, the language, the city and even the ministry there. Yet, God is fast at humbling the proud. After getting off the plane and going into this land, I knew I was entering a place of darkness. Yet, a place I knew He was calling me to.

|| The Lord is quick to humble you when you think you have it all together. He reminds you that He has complete control over all things, (Job 10:12) He gets all the glory (Romans 11:36) and that He is worthy of all our praise from it. (Psalm 96:4) ||

Our main task while we were there was to go to different college campuses throughout the morning, and then meet with students in the afternoon on campus with them. Our time in the morning was spent prayer walking, and this is where our biggest work was done. To be honest, we weren't fully prepared to prayer walk so much. To be really honest, we were set on having the expectation that most of our time would be spent with the students directly and sharing the gospel with them. To do all the "glory" work instead of all the hard work of prayer. Although we did get to spend time with students and share with them, our main harvest work was done while walking and not by speaking. 

This was so hard for me. I'm definitely a people person, so with most of our time being spent praying for them instead of speaking with them -- that was a wake up call for me. We would walk around campus and see everything before us. This is what made it the hardest. I would see women walking at night as they hopped on the back of a random man's motorbike. The children, walking behind their grandparents who were their primary care-taker. The students, who were focused on their study and had no desire to speak about God. I saw girls who felt they were not beautiful enough. Abortion advertisements. Men who were hunting for young girls. Riots. Government police on every block. Buddhas everywhere, along with other earthly things they saw would bring them fortune and luck. As I walked, I often felt spirits that weren't of The Lord. I saw a lot of chaotic things, and each time I prayer walked I was left feeling discouraged and sorrowful from seeing and feeling so much brokenness.

But God... He answered my prayer that He would break my heart for what broke His heart. When I walked around and saw people completely separated from Him - it often left me in tears. I wasn't expecting for Him to have me feel sorrowful and to weep, but there were days where I just wept. I would lock myself in my apartment room and not want to go back out into a world that was broken. I felt weak and too small to be used. Yet, The Lord started to work in my heart. Instead of feeling a earthly sorrow for them without hope, He gave me an eternity sorrow for them that was with hope.  I prayed more than I had ever prayed before this trip, and it led me to have total dependence on God. I understood then that bold prayers honored a bold and powerful God. 

As sorrowful as I was for them, I had to understand that He was more sorrowful for them than I ever could be. His love is better than what I could ever give, and this simple truth is what kept me going on those hard days on the East Asian streets.

As I saw faces, it hit me hard that there is such a time for me to be here. Yet, God didn't need me. He doesn't need us to go and tell others about Him, but He chooses to use us. It brings Him enjoyment. We, little piles of dust, bring The Father - enjoyment. I realized then that I was chosen, I was chosen from salvation (Ephesians 1:3-4) to now chosen to tell others about that salvation. (Acts 26:16-18) 

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For the moments where I was able to share the gospel, I realized these university students were all kinds of soil. Most of them, were soil that had never been touched before. No one had shared with them the gospel, and they didn't want anything to do with God. They felt like they held their own future in their hands and that God had no part of it. They liked to be in control. This was most of the summer, was dealing with hard soil and trying to seek out people of peace. Each day we prayed, and each day I saw God start to answer prayer. Towards the end of our stay there, we saw people with soil that was starting to be fruit. I've had different students tell me when they saw me worship or hear me tell them the gospel - they felt a stirring in their heart they couldn't explain. Suddenly, our summer full of tough soil started to become soil God was growing. I am thankful for the season of hardship, because it taught me only through the power of the Holy Spirit were these souls starting to be awaken. Not by my own power, but through His Spirit that lives inside of me (Romans 8:11)

Ephesians 4:21-24 would be the passage I would use to describe my 5 weeks living overseas. 

"...assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, ²² to put off your old self,^[a] which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, ²³ and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."

 

I battled with a lot of my selfish desires. My desire to want to be in control. To make myself look better to be accepted more. My flesh showed more on this trip than I think it ever had. I thought I would go to East Asia, and show everyone how righteous I was because of God. Instead, The Lord wrecked me.

He wrecked me of my expectations. 

He wrecked me of my pride. 

He wrecked me of my selfish ambitions. 

He wrecked me, because He loved me.  

This was the hardest summer I went through. Yet, I'm glad I went through it because The Lord was faithful through it all. On the days I felt empty, He taught me I needed to be filled. (Mark 1:35) When I felt ugly, He showed me my identity in Him. (Romans 8:17) And when I felt hopeless, He showed me His power. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

This was the summer of learning that I'm merely just the clay, and He is the molder. Able to change and mold the brokenness we are, for His pleasure and glory. Praise God. 

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Although no one came to know Christ while we were there, I was still able to praise God. It was hard to fight for joy on the days dealing with hard soil - yet God was and is still so good. For the few moments I was able to connect with the students, I was able to see why He placed me there for such a time. My prayer is for all the future teams working with the same and new students there - that they would experience The Lord in such an intimate way that it changes them.

"Tearing through the night, riding on the storm

Staring down the fight, my eyes found Yours

Shining like the sun, striding through my fear

The Prince of Peace met me there

You heard my prayer."

 

 Thanks for reading and supporting me! I appreciate it more than you know.

 - Sam Jimenez